I have chosen to share the experience of my surgery here on the blog, which happened in November, meaning that I am now just 6 months post-op. So much has changed since November, mentally and obviously physically. I have shared all the juicy details before as well as what actually happened, so this post is actually about where I am at now, and what I am calling the awkward stage of my recovery. Below I will link all the previous posts, in case you need to catch up in order to make sense of this! This is just something I really wanted to share, to make sense of it all for myself and hopefully help others who could be or might get to the stage that I am at.
Going through major surgery is a very big deal for anyone, and I think it really is something that you can only understand if you have been through the process yourself. As this is also the case with a lot of other things in life. The initial recovery is as difficult as anyone would expect, as I have said before. Well, to be honest, it was much more difficult than I was expecting; I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a bus. A few months down the line everything was getting much better, I was physically able to do much more, including finally sleep lying down again, and just generally wasn’t feeling ill or nauseous anymore. However, the one thing that I was having and still 6 months later am experiencing is extreme tiredness.
Before my surgery I was tired a lot because of my heart condition, however the surgery has made me tired literally all the time. It is a very different kind of feeling to feeling tired when you have had a bad night’s sleep. It is similar feeling to begin very mentally drained, as well as my whole body feeling exhausted after just a few hours in the day. Some days I am much more energised and motivated with life than others, but it is most of the time an underlying struggle. This is completely normal and nothing to worry about, but can become quite draining mentally. I’m sure a lot of people have experienced this and are also suffering from what I am now calling ‘Crazy April’. Everyone I seem to talk to is in complete agreement that the last month has just been completely manic with work and life!
So I am just now at the stage where I am so busy with everything going on and seem to be having a constant battle with my body which is struggling to keep up. Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. I love my job, seeing my friends and doing all the things in my life, I am just basically trying to say that it is okay to sometimes not be able to keep up. It is totally normal to not be able to do absolutely everything, especially if your body has been through something major. We live in a world where everything is so fast paced and there is just way too much to do all the time, and I think we all need to remember that everyone has something going on and you cannot expect everything to be done straight away all the time. We all need to tell ourselves that it is okay – which is definitely something I am getting much better at. It is about respecting out bodies, and in my case, the tremendous trauma it has been through.
The point of this post is to ultimately let anyone and everyone know that going through surgery and recovery doesn’t just end over night, or even after a month or two. It can take a year or so to fully regain your health and mentally be ready to take on the crazy world that we all live in. Don’t let the process defeat you, and don’t be disheartened by the fact that you cannot do everything that you thought you would be able to by that stage. To be honest, when I look at where I was six months ago, I think it is an absolute miracle to be doing what I am today. Yes I still feel the effects of the surgery, but I also am really winning the battle with myself to stay motivated and carry on with life. This post is much shorter than any of my other surgery posts, as the whole process is now coming to an end, which honestly is such a huge weight off my shoulders as it was a build up for three years. Never forget that it is so amazing how our bodies can repair themselves and it is truly incredible what can be done by the medical professionals in the UK. We are so lucky to live the lives we do, that for me, has been made possible by them.