Imagery by Hana Dallimore Photography
It is no secret that the majority of us here in the UK are not good with change. I think BREXIT alone has been major proof of this – the fear of the unknown, completely blown up by the media. Whatever your view, there is no denying that a lot of us don’t like it when things change, whatever the reason may be. I personally have always gone through change from an early age, so seem to be much more capable of adapting and embracing the new. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean that I am happy when everything in my life changes. If someone moves something in my home, I freak out! In general, though, for me it is much smaller changes that I don’t like. However, as an adult and someone who is trying to grow as a person, there comes a point where you do have to realise that change is inevitable, and you just have to deal with it.
I think a big problem we have in this country is that we struggle with change mainly when we are not getting our own way. We are all very good at having a strop and throwing all our toys out the pram, and it definitely acts as a ripple effect, with others joining in as we express our feelings regarding the change.
I find it a challenge every day to get up and get on with it, however I do, as if I don’t the only person who is going to be affected negatively is myself. I may be young, but I have a real sense of direction and I know exactly where I want to be in 10, 20 year’s time. Having goals like this and working towards them every day definitely has a big impact on your ability to cope and most importantly, embrace change. I feel that this is something I want to talk about now, because a country we are about to go through a big change, and in general we all go through things day to day that will eventually lead to change. Whether you have a set plan for life or are more of a free spirit taking each day as it comes, we all go through stages in life. From being fun and care free in our 20s, to married with children, holding down a secure job, or even supporting others through their times of need, these are all changes that we must go through.
My first piece of advice when it comes to embracing change is to train your frame of mind into seeing it as much more of a positive experience, rather than something you fear. No, this cannot happen overnight, and usually you have to go through the experience a number of times before you get to the point you want to be at. However, it is more than doable. In my teen years, I changed schools a lot, as well as homes. I think it total, by the time I was 13, I had been to 5 schools and lived in 7 homes. As you can imagine, this was tough as a child. Although, when I look back, I don’t view it as something really bad that happened to me. I learnt a lot from this, such as how to develop friendships and succeed in new social environments, how to get on with things in a new place and most importantly, how vital it is to cherish each moment of your life. Okay, if I could wish for it to have been more ‘normal’ I probably would, but there are plenty of other things I would wish for more. Whether you go through experiences or not, you can train your mind to be happy about the idea of change, by simply trying to see the benefits of it and making sure they always outweigh what you perceive to be the bad parts.
The second stage of coping with change for me is having the ability to make the change happen yourself. I have been through experiences in very recent years where I have had to take control of a situation for my own happiness and growth. This is very much in terms of my work, not a personal situation. Being self-employed, this is probably much easier for me to do, however not impossible if you are employed. I have had clients in the past, where I have been very comfortable with the work and in a good place, but I have forced myself to change the situation in order to grow and see the bigger picture. So, for me, a definite big part of coping with change is forcing myself to always change something for myself if I feel that it is necessary, no matter how hard it is. Simply, you have to be brave. If you are unhappy with your job, find a new one and hand in your notice. Life is way too short to stay in a comfortable position.
“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” – Barack Obama
I think another thing that we here in the UK struggle with is understanding the scale of change. Changing something, especially something very significant such as a new job, doesn’t happen instantly. It isn’t the same as in the movies, like when Elle Woods decided she was going to be an amazing lawyer and got there in the space of five minutes. There are stages within changing something in life, and each one is significant in its own right. I think we all get very scared of the final situation, because we get ahead of ourselves. We all need to see changes as something that is more that doable and that is done in very small chunks. All we have to do is take it one step at a time, to see the change evolve over a period of time. For example, if you want to change your job, you don’t just hand your notice in straight away and then find a new one the next day. Once you have decided that is what you want to do, you start researching what other job you would enjoy, you look into in detail, you then apply and interview. Once you have the job you want, you can then leave the one you don’t enjoy. This in itself can be a lengthy process, so as well as being able to cope with change, a big part of it is also learning to be patient.
At the end of the day, the only way we are ever going to be a nation that is good with change is by working on ourselves and realising that change is not a bad thing. Everything in life happens for a reason, and you never know what is going to happen just around the corner. Being open minded is always the key.
Shop this post:
Skirt – New Look
Top – New Look
Coat – Topshop
Boots – New Look
Bag – Michael Kors
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